100's, We Meet Again (P2, D37)

Back in the 100's today, which is nice, and feels more permanent than it did last time. Here's what the last week and a half looks like:

Day 29	11/29/2010	203.2	-0.4	-26.4
Day 30	11/30/2010	203.2	0.0	-26.4
Day 31	12/1/2010	201.4	-1.8	-28.2
Day 32	12/2/2010	201	-0.4	-28.6
Day 33	12/3/2010	200.8	-0.2	-28.8
Day 34	12/4/2010	199.6	-0.8	-30
Day 35	12/5/2010	200.8	1.2	-28.8
Week 5 summary: down 2.8# this week; 28.8  total
Day 36	12/6/2010	200.8	0.0	28.8
Day 37	12/7/2010	199.2	-1.6	-30.4

Y'all, my body just wants to be done with this for awhile. If I wasn't trying to prove something to myself by going the whole 40 days (which it turns out is actually 43 days, since you stop taking the drops on day 40 but keep doing the low calorie thing for 3 more days), I probably would have just stopped already. I can feel my body craving fat and calories and taste and FOOD! I'm getting progressively hungrier and hungrier, and am having some low blood pressure symptoms (nothing dangerous). I guess it's good to notice those feelings, know I can live with them, know that they don't have to result in binge eating, and know it will be over soon. It's good to know that my body is capable of having intuition about what it needs, even though I will be ignoring that intuition for the next few days. Ha. Tough shit, body wisdom!!
  
Last night I went to a group meeting for a bunch of women who are doing this locally, and got mesaured again. It's only been two weeks and 8 pounds since I was measured last, so I wasn't expecting much. But I was actually way UP in a lot of areas, which just doesn't make sense to me.

If you look at this chart, you can see that I lost HUGE inches between my first measurement date on 10/27 and my second, which was after a 20 lb weight loss. It was a big deal at the time and heralded by me and others as proof of the diet's amazing success at not only reducing pounds but reducing inches.

Last night, which was only two weeks later and 7 pounds later, I actually gained inches in some areas (neck, arms, bra line, knee?) That seems unlikely if not impossible. Yes, I've been doing yoga and walking, but not enough to build the kind of muscle mass that would increase my size despite weight loss. I think what is more likely is that those 11/20 measurements were wrong (what did we expect considering they were done furtively in a bathroom in the back of a kid's gym??) Probably I should delete that column all together and just look at the first measurement compared to last night's measurement, which reflected a difference of 27 pounds and 5 weeks on the diet. It makes a lot more sense.

DATE:	Difference from 10/27 to 11/20	Difference from 11/20-12/6	Difference 10/27 to 12/6
WEIGHT:	20.2	-7.2	-27.4
Neck	-1.75	+0.75	-1
Shoulders	-3	-0.5	-3.5
Right Arm	-3.25	+2.25	-1
Left Arm	-2	+1	-1
Upper Chest	-2.25	0	-2.25
Chest/Bust	-3.5	0	-3.5
Bra Line	-4.5	+3	-1.5
Upper Stomach	-1.75	-1.75	-3.5
Waist	-4.75	0	-4.75
Belly	-4.25	-0.75	-5
Hips	-2.75	0	-2.75
Right Thigh	-2.75	0	-2.75
Right Knee	-1.5	+1	-0.5
Right Calf	-1.5	0	-1.5
Left Thigh	-2	0	-2
Left Knee	-0.5	0	-0.5
Left Calf	-1.5	0	-1.5
TOTAL	-43.5	+5	-38.5

Bottom line, I'm wearing jeans that are 2 sizes smaller, and I have lost almost 3" off each thigh and my hips, almost 5" off my waist, and 3.5" off my shoulders in 5 weeks. I'm happy.

I learned a lot about maintenance last night, which was very useful. The current thinking is that you should basically do the first two weeks of maintenance using the same foods as you have been using in phase 2, but just more of everything so you're getting more calories. They're advising holding off on adding eggs and cheese and nuts and oils right away, which is a huge fucking bummer, because as you know, I have been dreaming of the eggs and cheese I would have on Tuesday, 12/14, two weeks from today.

Ideally, on day one of maintenance, you would eat the same kind of stuff you have been eating with two exceptions: you would eat it 5 times a day instead of twice a day, and you can mix vegetables to your heart's content for all kinds of salads and soups. You can experiment with small amounts of oil or dairy or eggs and see what happens, but ideally not more than one new thing in a day so that you can isolate the cause if you have an increase. Then on week 3, you can start to add very limited and careful starches, always making sure you're never more than 2 pounds up from your last recorded HCG weight. I think I've got this right. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong.

As for food intake, you're supposed to eat when you're hungry, pay attention to how you feel, not count calories, but make sure you eat basically as much as you can while still maintaining your new weight.

After 6 weeks, you are ready to begin normal life, which involves eating all foods in moderation, or you can go back for another round. Still undecided on that, but leaning toward another round in late January, hoping to be done with this shit forever and ever Amen by late February/early March.

Inch By Inch (P2, D33)

Down only 0.2 today, which I guess makes sense after a big loss, but I was looking at the big loss as making up for the previous small losses, not as something that might cause continued small losses.

I'm starting to get hungry again, and have upped my drops to 20 three times a day. The hunger isn't agonizing (not as bad as the first week, or maybe I'm just used to it), but my hunger was nonexistent for the middle three weeks or so--I had to remind myself to eat. 

If you buy into the whole idea of the drops, you can technically become immune to them anywhere between 20-40 days. So I feel hungry, a little draggy (though still able to walk 3 miles and do yoga), weight loss has slowed, and I've noticed low blood pressure the last week or so (extreme dizziness when I stand up quickly). But I'm also coming off a really long period AND I think I'm getting a sinus infection. There are so many factors that contribute to the way you feel, it's hard to tease them out.

So how do I know if I am becoming immune, and if I am becoming immune, is there any harm to just powering through the last 10 days anyway? I'm so close, and would love to do the whole 40 days just for the accomplishment of it. But then if I am becoming immune and I stop now, then I get to start maintenance a week earlier and I get to start another round (if I decide to do one) a week earlier. [You're supposed to do 6 weeks of maintenance after a full round].

I think it got stuck in my head somewhere that I am *supposed* to be losing 5 pounds a week after the first week, and I'm not even that close. I had so much luck at first, that I was secretly thinking I could lose 40 pounds in 40 days, even though women tend to lose 30-35, It looks like I will be solidly in that group, after all, which is awesome! Not terrible! But that's why there is this current constantly running through the blog of "not enough weight loss, not enough weight loss."

In truth, I have averaged a loss of 0.6 pounds per day over the last two weeks (when I have been convinced my weight loss has slowed almost to a halt) and 0.9 pounds a day over the course of the whole 33 days so far.

It's funny, Shannon (my friend who has lost a shit ton on the HCG plan) has been cautioning me strongly against self-sabotage. She thinks that my negativity is going to/has already impacted my eating or my ability to follow the plan. But that's not really my MO for self-sabotage. My MO is more to set the bar so high that no matter what I do, it will be impossible to achieve it (c.f. secretly thinking I would lose 40 pounds in 40 days even though almost no one does, thereby virtually guaranteeing disappointment in myself when I don't do it).

So there are two issues at hand in today's navel-gazing blog post:

1) Am I becoming immune to the fancy voodoo drops, and should I stop round 1 early? Should I power through anyway?

2) As of today, I am just deciding that I am doing awesome, because 28.8 pounds is a lot of weight to lose in a short amount of time, and I am finally starting to see the difference in my body, am finally able to fit in some old clothes, and am feeling different. I know my loyal blog readers (all three of you!) have been telling me for ages that I'm doing awesome, but really I need to decide I'm doing awesome. You know? Also, something I need to work on outside the bounds of this diet is the need to constantly assess my awesomeness. It's a terrible habit.

In other news, I am going DANCING tonight!! A local club is hosting a dance party featuring only the music of Madonna, Lady Gaga, and M.I.A. A friend of mine invited a few of us to descend on the place and try to raise the average age of the joint. I will be wearing new size 16 jeans and a sparkly tank top. I have a raging sinus headache, but I want to do this so bad, I might just have to power through. I am actually 50% totally fucking excited and 50% nervous, because I have not gone to a CLUB in at least 6 or 7 years, maybe more, though I used to go to clubs in D.C. all the time in college. And I know we will be the oldest ones there by a lot, but I am trying to be brave. What if someone creepy hits on me? What if no one hits on me? Back in the day, I had a lot of techniques for turning away unwanted attention. They are a bit rusty, to say the least.

Also, the boy I was madly in love with in high school is a local DJ, and I really don't want to see him (just because I am not skinny or hot enough yet to see him as a mom of two kids with a corporate job while he is DJing), though honestly, it would be easy to avoid him if he were.

Yes, I am neurotic. But then you all knew that anyway. Tonight I will be a neurotic, shorty fire burning on the dance floor. :)