Down only 0.2 today, which I guess makes sense after a big loss, but I was looking at the big loss as making up for the previous small losses, not as something that might cause continued small losses.
I'm starting to get hungry again, and have upped my drops to 20 three times a day. The hunger isn't agonizing (not as bad as the first week, or maybe I'm just used to it), but my hunger was nonexistent for the middle three weeks or so--I had to remind myself to eat.
If you buy into the whole idea of the drops, you can technically become immune to them anywhere between 20-40 days. So I feel hungry, a little draggy (though still able to walk 3 miles and do yoga), weight loss has slowed, and I've noticed low blood pressure the last week or so (extreme dizziness when I stand up quickly). But I'm also coming off a really long period AND I think I'm getting a sinus infection. There are so many factors that contribute to the way you feel, it's hard to tease them out.
So how do I know if I am becoming immune, and if I am becoming immune, is there any harm to just powering through the last 10 days anyway? I'm so close, and would love to do the whole 40 days just for the accomplishment of it. But then if I am becoming immune and I stop now, then I get to start maintenance a week earlier and I get to start another round (if I decide to do one) a week earlier. [You're supposed to do 6 weeks of maintenance after a full round].
I think it got stuck in my head somewhere that I am *supposed* to be losing 5 pounds a week after the first week, and I'm not even that close. I had so much luck at first, that I was secretly thinking I could lose 40 pounds in 40 days, even though women tend to lose 30-35, It looks like I will be solidly in that group, after all, which is awesome! Not terrible! But that's why there is this current constantly running through the blog of "not enough weight loss, not enough weight loss."
In truth, I have averaged a loss of 0.6 pounds per day over the last two weeks (when I have been convinced my weight loss has slowed almost to a halt) and 0.9 pounds a day over the course of the whole 33 days so far.
It's funny, Shannon (my friend who has lost a shit ton on the HCG plan) has been cautioning me strongly against self-sabotage. She thinks that my negativity is going to/has already impacted my eating or my ability to follow the plan. But that's not really my MO for self-sabotage. My MO is more to set the bar so high that no matter what I do, it will be impossible to achieve it (c.f. secretly thinking I would lose 40 pounds in 40 days even though almost no one does, thereby virtually guaranteeing disappointment in myself when I don't do it).
So there are two issues at hand in today's navel-gazing blog post:
1) Am I becoming immune to the fancy voodoo drops, and should I stop round 1 early? Should I power through anyway?
2) As of today, I am just deciding that I am doing awesome, because 28.8 pounds is a lot of weight to lose in a short amount of time, and I am finally starting to see the difference in my body, am finally able to fit in some old clothes, and am feeling different. I know my loyal blog readers (all three of you!) have been telling me for ages that I'm doing awesome, but really I need to decide I'm doing awesome. You know? Also, something I need to work on outside the bounds of this diet is the need to constantly assess my awesomeness. It's a terrible habit.
In other news, I am going DANCING tonight!! A local club is hosting a dance party featuring only the music of Madonna, Lady Gaga, and M.I.A. A friend of mine invited a few of us to descend on the place and try to raise the average age of the joint. I will be wearing new size 16 jeans and a sparkly tank top. I have a raging sinus headache, but I want to do this so bad, I might just have to power through. I am actually 50% totally fucking excited and 50% nervous, because I have not gone to a CLUB in at least 6 or 7 years, maybe more, though I used to go to clubs in D.C. all the time in college. And I know we will be the oldest ones there by a lot, but I am trying to be brave. What if someone creepy hits on me? What if no one hits on me? Back in the day, I had a lot of techniques for turning away unwanted attention. They are a bit rusty, to say the least.
Also, the boy I was madly in love with in high school is a local DJ, and I really don't want to see him (just because I am not skinny or hot enough yet to see him as a mom of two kids with a corporate job while he is DJing), though honestly, it would be easy to avoid him if he were.
Yes, I am neurotic. But then you all knew that anyway. Tonight I will be a neurotic, shorty fire burning on the dance floor. :)
I think it could also just be your body rearranging itself, don't you? I feel like I have lost a lot of inches, not just weight. It could be "none of the above" and everything could be just fine! (That one gets my vote.) Have a fantastic time tonight, and let us know how it goes. It sounds like a fun way to celebrate.
ReplyDeletedollface, of course you're awesome. and of course you are getting tired of this diet, it's a pain in the ass and you have been doing it for a month. it's been less than a week for me, and i am sick of it. drops or no drops, it's just annoying not to eat like normal.
ReplyDeletebut i think you can and should power through the remainder. you will be disappointed in yourself if you don't. and your draggy symptoms sound like low iron from your period as much as anything. so take some iron and get on with your bad self. and have fun tonight! i had a good time last night dancing myself, and i can't think of anything better to pep one up than a night on the dance floor. i only wish i could join you.