Dreaming About Phase 3 (P2, D22)

I have been really hungry the last couple of days. I hope that doesn't mean I need to stop the HCG drops earlier than 40 days, because I am eager to go the whole 40 days. Today I had some dizziness, lightheadedness, and total mental fuzziness for the first time since I've started the low-calorie part. I was starting to really panic, and then when I started to get these familiar little brain zaps (mild but disturbing), I realized I haven't taken my crazy pills (Wellbutrin and Lexapro) in a week! I went to the doctor last Monday to get a refill and never picked it up!

I went a week once before without my meds. Last summer, we went to Canada and I left them at home for a week. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot get any meds you want in Canada easily or cheaply. So I went a whole week without meds, and by the end, I was a wreck. I was weepy, irritable, anxious, and having major brain zaps (withdrawal symptoms). Let me tell you how thrilled I am that I'm on medication that causes brain zaps when you go off of it. Awesome.

Anyway, I've been feeling pretty good emotionally on this diet (my last week funk was different than the way I experience depression, though in retrospect, probably related), which is I guess why I was able to forget my meds for a week. That has been remedied.

Lost a pound today. Steady decline continues. The size 16 jeans I could barely fit into when I started this at 229 fit perfectly last week, and this morning, my husband R said, "those jeans are falling off of you, babe." I don't know about THAT, but I think another 10 pounds will definitely be another size.

Day	Date	Weight	Daily Change	Total Loss
Day 1	11/1/2010	229.6	n/a	n/a
Day 2	11/2/2010	225.6	-4.0	-4
Day 3	11/3/2010	221.6	-4.0	-8
Day 4	11/4/2010	218.6	-3.0	-11
Day 5	11/5/2010	218.6	0.0	-11
Day 6	11/6/2010	216.4	-2.2	-13.2
Day 7	11/7/2010	215.8	-0.6	-13.8
Week 1 summary: down 13.8 #
Day 8	11/8/2010	214.8	-1.0	-14.8
Day 9	11/9/2010	215.4	0.6	-14.2
Day 10	11/10/2010	213.8	-1.6	-15.8
Day 11	11/11/2010	213.6	-0.2	-16
Day 12	11/12/2010	215	1.4	14.6
Day 13	11/13/2010	213	-2.0	-16.6
Day 14	11/14/2010	212.2	-0.8	-17.4
Week 2 summary: down 3.6 # this week; 17.4 # total
Day 15	11/15/2010	212.4	0.2	-17.2
Day 16	11/16/2010	210	-2.4	-19.6
Day 17	11/17/2010	210.2	0.2	19.4
Day 18	11/18/2010	209.4	0.8	20.2
Day 19	11/19/2010	208.6	0.8	21
Day 20	11/20/2010	208	0.8	21.8
Day 21	11/21/2010	207.6	-0.4	-22
Week 3 summary: down 4.8# this week; 22 total
Day 22	11/22/2010	206.6	-1.0	-23

Anyway, back to being hungry. I haven't been hungry at all for the last 2 weeks, but suddenly I am. And so I've been fantasizing about maintenance, when I can add in a few more food items. Sounds like the first three weeks of maintenance are pretty strict, a lot like the VLCD (very low-calorie diet) part, but more and with oils. My selection of proteins, fruits and vegetables will be wider, but still no starches or grains or sugar. Things like nuts and cheese are "caution" items, and if I'm reading it right, you get more leeway with the caution items if you are totally shunning starches and sugars.

Then the second three weeks of maintenance, if you're doing okay, you get to add in even more foods. The idea is to eat as many calories as you can without gaining weight so that you create a new set point for your body that has a high calorie requirement. If I set at this weight now, it will mean that if I ever eat more than 500 calories, I'll gain. So at the end of 40 days, you do 6 weeks of maintenance and try to reset your weight while eating 1500-2000 calories. I will admit I am not totally clear on why I won't gain 5 pounds the first day of maintenance, but we'll see.

So I've been dreaming of delicious, nutritious food; not candy bars and donuts, but yummy, healthy food. It is keeping me sane to think about what I will eat on my first day of maintenance, in my fourth week of maintenance, and on my next "gorge" days IF I decide to do a second round of this.

This is my first day of maintenance meal:

Breakfast: coffee with whole milk, scrambled eggs (in olive oil) with cheese and tomatoes, blueberries
Lunch: Chef's salad with ham, turkey, chicken, salami, tiny bit of shredded cheese, all kinds of mixed vegetables, edamame, small amount of sunflower seeds, and a small amount of no-sugar ranch dressing
Snack: apple with peanut butter
Dinner: stir fried chicken and soy sauce with mushrooms, broccoli, and snow peas
Dessert: skim milk and berry smoothie

Y'all, seriously, this seems so ridiculously delicious and decadent that my mouth is watering. If I can keep my body thinking that a day eating like THAT is absurdly indulgent, I will never be fat again. But then, that's the trick, right?

I only have to make it three more weeks! This diet honestly hasn't been that hard. If anything it's boring, but not hard. But man will I be ready for some real food.

End of Week 3 (P2, D21)

Down 0.4 today for a total of 4.8 lbs this week and 22 total. My mother-in-law is visiting this weekend. I opened up to her about the diet and how it was going, and she told me about the new plan WW is rolling out this year. I know she disapproves. Oh well. We basically just aren't talking about it, which is probably the best course of action.

Day 15	11/15/2010	212.4	0.2	-17.2
Day 16	11/16/2010	210	-2.4	-19.6
Day 17	11/17/2010	210.2	0.2	19.4
Day 18	11/18/2010	209.4	0.8	20.2
Day 19	11/19/2010	208.6	0.8	21
Day 20	11/20/2010	208	0.8	21.8
Day 21	11/21/2010	207.6	-0.4	-22
Week 3 summary: down 4.8# this week; 22 total

I am starting to seriously fantasize about what I can eat in maintenance. I spent about 20 minutes this afternoon poring over my HCG Weight Losee Cure Guide for all the foods I can have in early maintenance that I can't have now. I'm going to make a list and plan my first maintenance meal. Then I lay down for a nap and had a dream that I went out for dinner and had a huge bowl of chocolate pudding with coconut in it before realizing it wasn't on the Phase 3 protocol! Kind of like those dreams you have where you are making out with someone other than your spouse and it occurs to you in the dream that YOU'RE MARRIED! AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE MAKING OUT WITH JAVIER BARDEM.