| Day | Date | Weight | Daily Change | Total Loss |
| Day 1 | 11/1/2010 | 229.6 | n/a | n/a |
| Day 2 | 11/2/2010 | 225.6 | -4 | -4 |
| Day 3 | 11/3/2010 | 221.6 | -4 | -8 |
| Day 4 | 11/4/2010 | 218.6 | -3 | -11 |
| Day 5 | 11/5/2010 | 218.6 | 0 | -11 |
| Day 6 | 11/6/2010 | 216.4 | -2.2 | -13.2 |
| Day 7 | 11/7/2010 | 215.8 | -0.6 | -13.8 |
| Day 8 | 11/8/2010 | 214.8 | -1 | -14.8 |
| Day 9 | 11/9/2010 | 215.8 | 0.6 | -13.8 |
Speaking of scales, my friend T sent me her fancy, schmancy body fat monitor. She got fed up with it because she didn't think it was accurate, but it does measure body fat and muscle, and I was curious to see if it was at least directionally accurate. One of my big fears on this diet is that the weight will be lost from muscle instead of fat, so I'm hoping this scale can help me track that a little. So far, my muscle has stayed the same while my body fat continues to decrease slowly.
Another kind of rollercoaster: emotional. I would say that 75% of the day, I am feeling good about this diet and confident that I can make it work. But I also feel a little schizo about it and have a constant narrative running in my head. Y'all, I am in my head SO MUCH. It is exhausting. This is not the diet, it is me. The few of you reading this that actually know me know that I am like this about everything, not just this diet.
A typical day:
6:30 a.m. Hmmm, I'm not as hungry today. That's awesome. This is going to be a good day.
6:40: Another pound lost! I am awesome! I am the awesomest person who ever did this diet. I bet I can lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks.
7:00: There is NO WAY I can lose 20 pounds in two weeks. This weight loss will slow down soon, or I'll stop losing all together because my metabolism is fried. I'll be lucky to lose 20 pounds in the whole 40 days.
7:15: Look at me! I'm making lunches for the kids, watching them eat their breakfast, and I'm feeling strong. No desire to dip into the animal crackers or peanuts. No temptation to sneak a bite of oatmeal with brown sugar or mushroom and cheese omelet. I am a rock. I am the strongest person ever! I am changing my eating behaviors from the ground up! I will never eat emotionally again!!
9:00: I think my jeans are looser! Oh, holy day, my body is going to be TRANSFORMED! I am going to look so hot and amazing! I wonder how many inches I've already lost!? I bet it's A LOT of inches!
9:01: The only thing is that I'm probably going to get all this loose, sagging skin if I lose this much weight so quickly. I can't even imagine what my boobs are going to look like after nursing two babies and then a rapid weight loss. Oy. Maybe it's better to be fat and have tight skin than to be skinny and saggy everywhere.
9:02: No, it is better NOT to be fat, regardless of sagging skin. I will still feel better and healthier, and I'll be able to hit the gym hard and tone up to tighten up. It will all be ok.
9:03: What if I look all shrunken and deflated? What if I look awesome? What if I look terrible? What if I can't lose all the weight I want to lose? What if I can lose even more than I want to lose? What if I lose it all really fast, what if I lose it slow? ARGGGHHHH!
10:00: I feel good. I feel mentally sharp. I am able to stay on task. I don't feel overly grumpy or impatient or tired. I think this diet is just what I need. It may actually be improving my mental acuity, maybe because I'm not eating so much brain-fogging sugar and chemicals.
12:15 p.m.: You know, this plain chicken with plain spinach actually tastes really good to me. I think this diet is resetting my taste buds. I am noticing flavor so much more! This is awesome. I could go my whole life without ever eating another disgusting, fatty, salty cheeseburger.
12:18: I just want a cheeseburger. Mmmmm, a cheeseburger.
2:00: Look at me doing yoga! Not only am I dieting, but I am trying to keep my muscles strong! I am awesome! I could write the book on this diet, that's how awesome I am.
2:10: I wonder if I'd be able to hold that pose if I were getting more than 500 calories a day. Probably so, considering I am basically STARVING myself. I wonder how much people in refugee camps get to eat in a day? I wonder if it is more than 500 calories. I should Google it.
3:00: You know, I'm really not that hungry. I think I could eat like this basically forever.
4:00: I AM STARVING! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS!
5:00: Time to take the drops. These drops are not doing anything. It is working only because of the placebo effect. There is no way that something diluted 60x could make any difference in my metabolism. This could be plain spring water and I would be none the wiser. I can't believe I'm falling for this bullshit diet.
5:30: But obviously the drops are working, because I'm losing more fat than muscle. Obviously this diet is the greatest thing since the invention of the wheel, and everyone should know about it! I want to shout it from the rooftops: I AM ON THE HCG DIET!
6:00: I will never tell anyone I am doing this. They will laugh at me for falling for something that is about as scientifically rigorous as the spam for "enlarge your penis" homeopathic remedies we all spam emails that we all get in our inboxes. I will never tell anyone what I'm doing.
6:30: I think my face is thinner. And it's evening, and I still have energy. This dinner is so healthy! Organic, grass-fed beef, organic vegetables, organic fruit. My body is doing a long-overdue detox from all the shit I've been feeding it for years. This is the best diet ever. I will never say another bad word about it. I FEEL AWESOME!
7:30: I definitely cannot do this for 40 days. Maybe I'll just stop after 25 days.
7:32: Why would I ever stop? Maybe I'll do it for 60 days and just lose all my weight! Maybe I'll do it for 100 days! Maybe I'll do it for a year! There is no down side to this diet other than a little hunger, which has been totally manageable so far. I AM TRIUMPHANT AND UNSTOPPABLE!
8:30: I am hungry. Maybe I should just go to bed.
10:00 p.m.: I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and see how much more I've lost. I love this diet. This is the best thing that ever happened to me.
And.....scene.
I am really, really, really excited that you are losing FAT not muscle, and I'm sure it's your SCALE that is wonky. It sounds like over time it does show the change though, so I wouldn't get upset, but just continue on!
ReplyDeleteOh, Kat, I was laughing, laughing out loud at your dialogue. I have the same one. All day. Just like yours! I've even thought of the refugee people. I've said to people, "Well, most people in the world would be over the moon at the thought of being assured of 500 quality calories a day, since they're lucky if they get it, especially in starving countries...I'll be fine!"
I have to keep reminding myself how hard it was just to CUT BACK even a little on the food I ate before at 2000? 3000? 4000? calories a day? I don't know. It would have been really hard for me to do 1500 calories a day. I couldn't do Weight Watchers--I felt WAY WAY hungrier on it, and miserable the WHOLE time. I lasted less than two weeks on it and hated it FULL TIME. It was awful. So maybe the drops do do something?!?!
I guess we'll find out for sure on those last three days, right? In the meantime, I think I'm going to be using 4 bottles or $300 worth of drops, maybe even 5 for $350. Yikes! But if it works it's worth it and more.
Some more additions to your monologue that I have are:
"Maybe I'm going to keel over and die!"
"Maybe I'm going to be hospitalized and think how people will laugh--poor desperate woman, she killed herself on this fad diet because she was dying to be thin!"
"I want to stay on this forever, I feel so good!
"I don't need to eat at all, I can just live on water and drops!" (that never lasts long, usually a few minutes)
Don't worry about your scale, just look at trends!
This was a great post.