So today, I'm resolving just to work the plan the best I can, mix it up a bit where it makes sense, and just let go of the obsessive focus I've had the last week, which did not do me a bit of good.
I need to bring calm focus to all areas of my life including my job, my marriage, my weight loss protocol, my relationship with my children, and the fucking holidays. I think "calm focus" can be best summed up by the Serenity Prayer, which has always spoken to me (even when I was a child), even though I have not, until very recently, identified as an addict. I am just a puppet master who likes to be the boss of everything.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
So I woke up this morning with a spring in my step. I had grapefruit for breakfast instead of waiting until lunch to eat anything. Did a work conference call, then felt scattered, so instead of fucking around on Facebook, I took a very brisk 45 minute walk. I did a lot of thinking on that walk that I think was very helpful to me. I don't spend very much time alone with my thoughts (I prefer to be busy and distracted), and whenever I do it, I can usually uncover something valuable. Plus, I got to listen to really good music.
I did that on Saturday, too. R and I got in a fight and I took a walk (instead of eating, crying, fuming, shopping, or any of the other coping techniques I might usually employ). Wow, this looks remarkably like sanity!
When I returned from my walk this morning, I straightened my office (sometimes I think I need an organized environment in order to have an organized head). Then I began work in earnest around 11 a.m. I worked two solid hours before losing my focus again. So here I am.
Anyway, the point is that I am renewing my commitment to this diet for the last two weeks. It never really waned, and I think I've been doing everything right, but I'm going to try some new tactics this week and see what happens:
- mix it up with eating times. I have gotten in the habit of having only coffee for breakfast and not eating food until lunch. I'm going to play around with eating a fruit for breakfast or maybe even trying a double protein lunch and no dinner.
- I'm going back to eating only chicken and grass-fed beef. I've been adding some shrimp, tuna, white fish and other meats for variety, but my weight loss has also slowed down. Who knows if that is why.
- exercise every day, even if only briefly. I had so much time off last week with the kids and holiday schedules that I missed a lot of days.
- water: I've been getting lazy about water since it's gotten really cold here. I've definitely been getting 64 oz, but some days not more than that, and I am recommitting to drink at least 100 oz a day (48 oz so far today at 2:00 EST)
- stop stressing about the numbers on the scale. They are what they are, and what I lose in 40 days is what I lose in 40 days.
- stop stressing about maintenance, which isn't happening for 2 more weeks anyway.
Onward, ho!
What a good place you're in, Kat. I'm going to do the same thing--recommit, positive attitude, new focus. Yes.
ReplyDeletehey doll
ReplyDeletewhat a sane and positive post. i think that everything you wrote is just perfect. you've had awesome success with the diet so far, so why not be positive, right?
also, since when did being a puppet master turn you into an addict? i love your puppet masterliness, and certainly hope that you don't shed it along with all the pounds. and good luck with the calm focus to all aspects of life. those pills must have one hell of a placebo effect if they can help that too ;-)
(that was a sincere good luck, not sarcastic--hard to tell sometime on the internets; but really, i think that goal is one that we all have all the time, and nobody ever achieves, except for like mother theresa)